Look at Luther stylin’ in his leather blazer! “Never Too Much” is one of my favorite songs of all times, but when I take the time to analyze the lyrics, Luther may be encouraging foolishness.
Woke up today, looked at your picture just to get me started
I called you up, but you weren’t there and I was broken hearted
Hung up the phone, can’t be too late, the boss is so demandin’
Opened the door up and to my surprise there you were standin’
Well, who needs to go to work to hustle for another dollar
I’d rather be with you ’cause you make my heart scream and holler…
We know how the rest goes. And I agree with Luther, that as a relationship has blossomed and developed into a beautiful thing,the desire to be near and wanting to hear your boo thangs voice to get you going are not out of the ordinary.
What I really want to know is at which point is the heavy contact OK? Is there ever a time where the “I just wanted to hear your voice” calls border on stalking or harassment?
Let me start by saying I am not a person that needs to communicate with a love interest/boo on a daily basis. I’m not adverse, but it’s definitely not a requirement. While I do love and appreciate attention, too much turns me off and I will retreat. Hearing from someone 3-4 times a week works very well for me and sends a certain message: “I have a life outside of this relationship. The time we spend together talking/hanging out is quality time. You DO NOT need to know my every move.”
While some may dismiss the whole late night phone call/text sessions as activities of the young, I’ve recently run into a rash of fellas over the age of 21 that are very adamant about being in constant contact within days of initiating “getting to know you” conversations. Ultimately, they have only succeeded in turning me completely off.
Is it just me? Am I the only person that gets totally claustrophobic and annoyed with “WYD” texts on the hour or the calls talking about absolutely nothing that stretch into the wee hours cutting into my twitter time beauty sleep? If you want to watch TV together, invite me to the house. If you want to listen to me breathe, come lay in my ample bosom. Y’all get my drift.
Gimme some feedback, kids. Is there such a thing as too much contact/communication in the beginning of a relationship or do Luther’s words ring true?
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I don’t like to be bothered all day, every day by anybody. I definitely don’t like to be bothered all day, every day by someone I just met. We really don’t have that much to talk about, and I’m rarely that excited to go through the “getting to know you” stage. Let’s just pace ourselves, please.
But even if we are in the “heavy contact” stage…I still don’t want random/nonsensical “what are you doing” texts every day, and calls about nothing lasting into the hours. I don’t need attention for attention’s sake. I’m good.
Now…you asked about when to get into the “heavy contact” phase? I don’t know, for me it just happens. If dude and I are in a rhythm, it just flows. I don’t need to hear from boo-thing every day…especially if he doesn’t have anything to say. But if he wants to let me know I’m on his mind, and as long as he doesn’t require a response, then cool.